6 Strategies to Overcome ‘Fear Foods’

Forbidden foods are a problem for most dieters. Dieters tend to view “forbidden” foods as “bad” foods which are avoided or restricted when dieting. Avoiding and restricting these foods actually causes an increased desire to want those very foods. When the dieter gets tired of being “good”, they will likely then overeat or binge on these forbidden foods, resulting in guilt and shame. This is one of the main reasons why “diets don’t work” and in fact, dieting causes weight gain over time for a lot of folks. 

Forbidden foods are a problem because they keep one stuck in the diet- binge cycle of eating. They further reinforce the idea that our bodies can’t be trusted.  

Making peace with these formally  “forbidden” foods will help to restore a balanced relationship with food. When we give ourselves unconditional permission to eat all foods, this helps to reduce guilt, stress and shame that comes from being stuck in the diet- binge cycle of eating.  

When we begin to make peace with all foods, the desire for forbidden foods diminishes over time and this creates a more satisfying and sustainable way of eating. In turn, we find our way back to balance and a more peaceful relationship with food.

As a dietitian with over 20 years of experience working with eating disorders, here are my top 5 strategies I use to guide folks through this process:

1. Identify your ‘forbidden’ foods

• These are  foods you deem bad, fattening or unhealthy. You tend to avoid these foods and you cannot trust yourself around them. You do not keep them at home unless you plan to overeat or binge on them. 
• Make a list of the foods that you want to make peace with. If helpful, categorize the foods high-, medium- and low risk.
• Give yourself permission to eat one forbidden food from your list. You can challenge yourself at your own pace. Some find it easier to eat ice cream out first before bringing it into the home.  
• When you eat the food, check in with yourself to see if the food tastes as good as you imagined. If you find that you really like it, continue to give yourself permission to have it.
• Make sure that you keep enough of the food in your kitchen so that you know that it will be there if you want it. If that seems too scary, go to a restaurant or order out that particular food. 

2. Challenge the diet mentality: ‘good’ vs. ‘bad’ thinking

• Reframe the Concept of “Forbidden.” Food is just food and no food is inherently “bad” or “good.” Of course some foods have more nutrition than others but we get into trouble when we deem some foods better than others. Good/bad thinking patterns sets us up to view food in moralistic terms and this drives the guilt and shame spiral. The truth is that there is room for all foods in balance and moderation. Furthermore, life is short and we all deserve to eat our birthday cake without a side of guilt.  

 

• Explore the emotional impact of food guilt: Guilt about eating certain foods is symbolic of guilt in other areas of one’s’ life. It is never about the food but something else. We explore some of these fears together in a safe space where we can name the shame and this is how it loses its grip over your consciousness. Many have a fear of weight gain and this too is often never about the body, but about what that ‘weight’ represents. Through various decoding methods, we uncover the unmet intrinsic needs that the over- focus on food guilt is being hidden out of direct awareness. 

3. Learn how to deeply listen to your body cues of  hunger and fullness

• Mindful eating 101: When you eat your forbidden foods, slow down and really taste the food. Eating with deliberate and focused attention really helps us to stay connected to our body’s cues of hunger and fullness. This allows us to then hear the ‘stopping point’ or the subtle cue of enough, effectively breaking us out of the diet-binge cycle. This promotes a felt experience of being in control with your eating. Continuing to avoid food will reinforce the idea that you can’t be trusted with food or that you are out of control with food. 

 

• Restore trust: Intuitive eating isn’t about eating foods excessively, but rather about finding a balance between satisfaction, pleasure and eating for health. Trust with our bodies is restored by consistently feeding ourselves well over time. We learn to deeply connect to our bodies’ internal cues.  By honoring our hunger and fullness cues we begin to heal from these issues.  

4. Name and explore the fear of overeating, losing control and weight gain 

• Normalize the fear of overeating: In the early stages of intuitive eating, most client’s will tend to ‘overeat’ on formally forbidden foods. This is so normal and will run its course! Trust the process. Some part of you might doubt if this intuitive eating will actually work. You might say to yourself, I can always go back to my diet if this doesn’t work. This type of thinking can keep you trapped in the cycle. Remember this fact:  restriction always leads to overeating later. Restriction and deprivation drive the overeating and binge eating cycle! When we can unconditionally eat whatever we want, for the rest of our lives, this allows a deeper trust to emerge and puts an end to the diet-binge cycle of eating.  

 

• Having a plan to feel more in control. Take your time with gradually reintroducing these foods into your meals in safe portions. You are in this for the long game, so keep eating as mindfully as you can and observe how these foods feel in your body. Notice your thoughts, notice the energy and emotions that come up. All of this can be used to regain a sense of control and reduce food anxiety. This is about your own growth and self-discovery. Food and body issues are the portal into getting our deeper needs met. 

5. Be kind to yourself: self-compassion 101

• Learn how to talk to yourself with more self-compassion: If being hard on ourselves worked to change our bodies, we wouldn’t be here, again. The opposite of the critic is self-compassion. We need to learn how to soften and be nicer with ourselves- especially in the intuitive eating process. We are relearning how to eat and this will take time and many ‘slips’ which provide valuable lessons. If you ‘overeat’ on something, be kind, not critical. Trust that this is what healing looks like. Shame and guilt will only drive us back to the cycle, keeping us feeling stuck and frustrated.

 

• Focus on “C” level work, not perfection: Healing our relationship to food is not a linear process; it’s messy and imperfect. We aim for ‘C’ level work as we divest from perfectionistic standards of thinking and being. Diet culture is about getting it right and having the perfect body and diet. We will never measure up to that, so drop that paradigm and embrace the messiness of being a human who makes mistakes with their eating and is okay with that. There is a lot of freedom that happens when we can let ourselves off the hook. (this is not letting things go by the way, but rather, letting things be what they may, radical acceptance!). 

 

Intuitive eating is a process of radically reclaiming your birthright to enjoy all foods without guilt and shame. It’s a radical paradigm shift away from needing to control our bodies to reach some unrealistic standard of beauty. Most folks find intuitive eating when they want to make peace with food and their bodies. They want to feel more relaxed around eating and for food to take up less mental space in their lives. 

One of my clients shared with me that she found a half eaten stale box of Girl Scout cookies in her pantry. She was in disbelief as these foods were always eaten (binged on) as soon as they were in her house. How could she have forgotten about them? How is this even possible? And now, when she eats Girl Scout cookies, she’s satisfied with just a few, not the whole box. This is what freedom tastes like. This is an Intuitive Eating success story. If it can happen to her (and myself), it can happen to you.

If you are ready to take this step and find food freedom, don’t wait another day. Your life depends on it.  Book a free 30 minute call with me here

Much love,

Karen Louise

(Your anti-diet dietitian and intuitive eating coach since 2005)